Domestic Violence has far reaching consequences, as demonstrated by the following statistics taken from my previous entry:

·  Children in homes where domestic violence occurs are physically abused or neglected at a rate 1500% higher than the national average.

·  Children are present in 41-44% of homes where police intervene in domestic violence.

We try to keep our children safe, but often they are abused by their other parent simply by example.  Children learn by watching the dynamics of their parent's relationship. If Mom stays in the home with her batterer, she implies to her children that this behavior is acceptable.

Little Johnny and Janey grow up to be battered and batterers.  Indeed, they will probably seek out others who find this behavior 'normal'.

Most women stay in these destructive relationships out of fear.  Fear of retaliation, fear of not being able to support herself and her children, fear of making a leap into the unknown world alone.  Their very souls are battered into submission.

These women need all the encouragement they can get from family and friends in order to build their self esteem and confidence.  Unfortunately, few of them have friends who are willing to offer them these things.  People don't want to get involved the troubles of others and are reluctant to offer the help that is needed. 

If the friend tells the battered woman to get out of the marriage, and she holds it against them for not understanding her circumstances, they may fear that they will lose a friend.  In such cases, the battered woman can at the very least be encouraged to contact sources that can help her to understand her situation.

One such organization is the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence.  Their website is located at:

http://www.ncadv.org/

There are others as well, but this one is an excellent beginning.  They can check in their local phone book for other agencies as well.

Sometimes the women fear losing contact with their families.  But should that fear allow them to stay and wind up dead, or imprisoned for defending themselves?  My previous post shows how well self defense works.

While looking for some statistics to provide here, I found this site:

http://www.prisonactivist.org/women/

And on the site was a link to this information:

Self Defense is not a Crime

Some Facts on Domestic Violence

• Each day in the U.S., between 5 and 11 women are killed by a male intimate partner, between 1800 and 4000 per year.
• In the U.S. women are more likely to be killed by their male intimate partners than all other homicide categories combined.
• 90% of women murdered are killed by men, men who are most often a family member, spouse or ex-partner.
• There are hundreds of women in California prisons and thousands of women in prisons nationwide convicted of killing an abusive partner.
• Studies show that the vast majority of women who kill their abusers do so as a last resort in defense of their own lives and/or the lives of their children, and that many have stayed with abusive partners because they have been beaten trying to escape or because they rightly feared an attempt at escape would cause their partner to retaliate with violence.
• Battered women who defend themselves are being convicted or are accepting pleas at a rate of 75-83% nationwide.
• In about 85% of spouse assault and homicide cases, police have been called at least once before. In about 50% of those cases, police have responded five times to family violence incidents prior to the homicide.
• Women in the U.S. are much less likely to commit homicide than are men. During the years 1980-84, women perpetrated only 14% of all homicides committed by those 15 years or older, a homicide rate of 2.7. Men committed 86% of all these homicides, a homicide rate of 18.1.
• Between 2.1 and 8 million women are abused by their partners annually in the U.S. At least every 15 seconds, a woman is beaten by her husband or boyfriend.
• The Surgeon General has reported for at least 10 years that battering is the single largest cause of injury to U.S. women.
• In national surveys, approximately 25% of U.S. couples report at least one incident of physical aggression between them during the course of their relationship.
• Over 50% of all women will experience physical violence in intimate relationships. For about 25% of them, the battering will be regular and ongoing.
• Women of all class levels, educational backgrounds, and racial, ethnic, and religious groups are battered.
• Almost 90% of the hostage taking in the U.S. is domestic violence. Most hostages are the wives or female partners of hostage takers, although children are frequently taken hostage.
• Abusive husbands and lovers harass 74% of employed battered women at work either in person or over the telephone, causing 56% to be late for work at least 5 times per month, 28% to leave early at least 5 days per month, 54% to miss at least 3 full days of work per month and 20% to lose their jobs.
• 47% of the husbands who beat their wives do so three or more times per year.
• Children in homes where domestic violence occurs are physically abused or neglected at a rate 1500% higher than the national average.
• Children are present in 41-44% of homes where police intervene in domestic violence.
• At least 53% of all battering husbands also batter their children.
• 75% of women surveyed in some studies report that their children had been physically and/or sexually abused by their batterers.
• 33% of teenage girls report physical violence from their date.
• 21-30% of college students report at least one occurrence of physical assault with a dating partner.
• Between 25-45% of all battered women are abused during pregnancy.
• In many U.S. cities, more than 50% of women and children seeking shelter are turned away due to lack of space.
• An estimated 10% of incidents of domestic violence are reported.
• The injuries that battered women receive are at least as serious as injuries suffered in 90% of violent felony crimes, yet under state laws, they are almost always classified as misdemeanors.
• In some surveys, 90% of battered women who reported assault to the police actually did sign complaints, but fewer than 1% of the cases were ever prosecuted...

[facts compiled by the National Clearinghouse in Defense of Battered Women, Washington, D.C.]

Hmmmm...  I think I got more than I asked for.  This has to be an eye opener for most of us.  I know it was to me.  We are aware that it goes on, but I did not realize it was quite this bad.  How many cases are never reported?  These statistics say only 10% are estimated to have been reposted.  How many of those non reports end in death?