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日志
    5月25日

    Innocence Lost

    She stood in the door with candies in her fist

    She'd always been taught that adults knew best

    He'd given sweets to buy her silence

    Even though there'd been no violence  

    The scar would follow her forever  

    He said they'd not believe her if she told

    Shame and confusion filled her soul

    Then she knew that she was trapped

    It felt as though she had been slapped

    There was no one to whom she could confide

    So she tucked her pain down deep inside

       Her innocence and childhood were both lost   

    Into an adult world she had been tossed

     

     

    0:57 | 添加评论 | 固定链接 | 写入日志
    5月19日

    Domestic Violence

    What do you think of when you hear the words 'domestic violence'?  Visions of pictures resembling the photos of Nicole Simpson that were circulated so widely a while back?  Or maybe even more catastrophic and hideous injuries?  Some incidents end in  death, and some leave barely visible bruising or no visible marks.  But it is all destructive violence just the same.
     
    We almost always think of the man as the batterer, but the tables are sometimes turned.  The problem with that is a lack of reporting.  What man wants to admit that his wife or girlfriend beat the tar out of him?  So it goes unreported, and shielded from public view.  Many women also sheild their batterer, believing that they 'asked for it' or that it is just an isolated incident.
     
    Having been in a violently abusive marriage, I can remember all too well some of the excuses I used to absolve him.  "He had a really bad day at work"..."He was too drunnk to  know what he was doing"..."If he didn't love me so much, he wouldn't hit me"..."I must have said something to set him off"..."He wouldn't have to hit me if I didn't make him so mad"...and many many more.
     
    And there was also the 'payoff'.  After he had sobered up he would feel remorseful and send me tokens of his love.  Roses, shopping sprees, new cars were often the aftermath of one of his sprees.  His own guilt prompted these gifts, but for me it seemed to make it worth waiting for the next bout.  "He is such a good and generous man",  I would tell myself.  "He really didn't mean to do this to me, and if I were a better wife, he wouldn't have to act that way." 
     
    To my way of thinking at that time, it must be me:  I'm not loving enough, patient enough, and in essence, I'm just not a good wife.
     
    I left him three times, always coming back, resolving to be a better wife.  The thrid time I came back, however, I began to see that it wasn't really my fault.  I had tried everything I could think of to make him happy, but nothing worked.  Finally I came to realize that if I stayed in the marriage, one of us would surely wind up dead, and I had not done anything to deserve being treated in such a manner.  He had an attitude that if he couldn't have me, no one would.  So I planned my escape and left town, moving to another state, and letting no one know where I had gone.
     
    Being one of the fortunate ones, he had never left bruises in visible spots with the exception of hand and finger print bruises around my neck, which I covered with clothing and makeup.  This also meant that there were no prior reports of abuse that I could use to obtain a restraining order or prove the abuse.  For me, escape made the most sense.
     
    I have known of several cases of the wife being the abuser, but as I said, men are reluctant to tell their tale to anyone.  I think their male ego gets in the way, since they are supposed to be the strong ones, the 'King of their castle'; it makes them look weak in the eyes of other men.  I am certain some of these men also wind up in a grave, and wonder how many 'abusers' are just fighting back.
     
     
    10:32 | 添加评论 | 固定链接 | 写入日志
    5月16日

    Our Elderly who need care

         Generally, when we think of abuse, our thoughts fly to the children.  But what of the elderly? 
     
         Many parents today are in need of care, and wind up living with their grown children due to the cost of care centers. If they are quite ill, they can become cantankerous, cranky and even verbally abusive to their children.  The adult child may become verbally abusive as well.   This would be mainly in the form of the child causing the parent to feel shame at burdening them, or the parent making the adult child feel obligated and ashamed of their inability to give adequate care and comfort.  The adult child might feel resentment at having to set aside their own comforts to care for their parent, and the additional burden on a family budget.  This may sometimes become a physical battle, or one may strike out at the other in anger.
     
         In some cases, the child may steal from the parent. Taking a parents' narcotic pain medications or money is all too common.  In some cases of dementia, a parent may even accuse thier child of such criminal acts when the reverse is actually true.
     
         It is sad when a parent is no longer able to remain independent, and many will balk at the first suggestion of entering a care facility.  But it is often the best solution.  There are instances where a care giver can be called in to take some of the burden off of the child, or to assist when the elder person is still able to maintain a certain level of independence.  When the child is the primary caregiver for a parent who needs constant care, it is best if they can be given frequent breaks.  Calling in a once or twice a week caregiver can give the adult child a much needed break.
     
          In worst case scenarios,  a frail and ailing elderly parent can be severely injured by being shoved, pushed or struck by an angry adult child, especially if that child is strong and known to have fits of anger.  Tempers can flare and before they know it, the elder adult is either in danger or in dire trouble.  Bruises, broken bones, fractures and internal bleeding can ensue.  This can be true even if the parent is not frail.
     
         Our elderly are a valuable asset, and we can learn much from them still.  They have mush wisdon to impart if one has the patience to listen.  They also carry family histories within them that may be lost forever when they are gone.  They should be treated gently and with the love and respect they deserve.  Unfrotunately, this is not always the case.
     
         If you suspect abuse of an elderly or adult family member or other adult persons, there is a division of the DSHS called Adult Protective Services.  Reports can be made anonymously to be checked out  by their staff.  It is not a crime to witness abuse, only to let it go unreported.
     
         Getting an ailing parent to agree to go into a facility may not be easy, as most have heard horror stories through the years.  However, the level of care at the various facilities has improved drastically, and they are monitored both by government agencies and health departments.   Most facilities that have oprenings will welcome a visit by both the patient and the family.  It keeps the elderly parent safe and offers them constant assistance whenever they need it.   
    4:10 | 添加评论 | 固定链接 | 写入日志
    5月14日

    We Give as Good as We Were Given

    Mother's Day has come and gone, for better or worse.  It may not be a pleasant reminder of days gone past, but it is best to remember that mother's can only give what they have been given.  They learned their behavior and their attitudes from their parents, and the examples set before them by teachers and others with whom they came into contact as children.

    "I had a rotten childhood" is a phrase often used by those wishing to have their own bad behavior excused.  Guess what?  We all had rotten childhoods at one point or another.  "Normal" has lost it's meaning in regard to the family.  It should represent the majority, and when applied properly, the "norm" would be the desired situation.  However, what is normal for one person is not always normal for another.  For instance, when I was a drunk many years ago, it was 'normal' for me to drink and stay drunk.  Today, it would not be normal, it would be a tragedy.  But I can look back and see that most of my 'normal' behaviors have undergone drastic changes through the years.  Thank heaven!

    Perhaps your mother was in the grips of an addiction.  Or maybe she has hurts buried deep within her soul.  Her experiences have made her who she is today.  Hopefully, she has had the opportunity to work through her problems.  On the other hand, maybe your mother was and is a paragon of virtue.  If you are in the latter category, consider yourself very fortunate, and hopefully, you will be as good an example to your children as she was to you.

    Single parents do not have it easy.  They must be both parents at the same time, giving out discipline and being nurturing at the same time.  The burden of household finances is theirs alone, and they shoulder all the problems of trying to raise a productive member of society.  Having been a single mom, I have the utmost empathy for any who are in that situation.  Sometimes dads have to assume the role of mom as well as the other way around, and they are to be congratulated as well.

    Parenting today is a frightening thought for me.  There is so much more danger out there than before, when I was a young parent.  It seems pedophiles are lurking around every corner.  Maybe even as a neighbor.  Drugs are a bigger issue than ever.  All one can do is try to instill in their children a deep sense of what is safe and provide a safe home; but for the most part it comes down to building trust with them.

    Children must be able to trust that you will not lie to them, that you are wiser than they are.  The influence of grandparents and other close relatives can be a valuable asset and they can become family assets, if they aren't already.

    Changes in a child's behaviors and attitudes can signal problems to a watchful parent.  If they suddenly start to withdraw or their schoolwork takes a drastic nosedive, check into it.  Lives get terribly busy, and it is often easy to over look these things, or to pass them off as just a phase.

    Abused children are often afraid to speak out against an abuser.  Sometimes they are threatened with dire consequences if they tell anyone.  Physical harm to them or their loved ones is the usual threat. Other times, they may feel that they have caused the abuse and feel shame that keeps them from telling anyone.  If they never speak out, the wound becomes a scar that they will carry for the rest  of their lives.  They may even go on to become an abuser themselves.

    Even the most vigilant of parents may find that their children are into things like drugs after the damage has been done.  This often signals a deeper problem, and perhaps counseling is the way to go.  Browbeating does little to correct bad behavior or habits.  And being too strict often makes the child rebel even harder.

    Is there a balance?  I really don't know.  Every situation and each child have their own circumstances and temperaments.  Parenting is a difficult job and a gigantic responsibility.  It is almost impossible for a parent who is addicted to any substance to be totally aware of the difficulties their child is going through.  Hopefully, there will be other adults around who are concerned enough to use their voices in a situation like that.  Sometimes it is the parent who is the problem, and needs to be assisted.  Done properly, those who are close to the parent can effect vast changes.

    10:30 | 添加评论 | 固定链接 | 写入日志
    5月13日

    Happy Mother's Day!

    Mothers
    This is for the mothers who have sat up all night with sick toddlers in their arms, wiping up barf laced with Oscar Mayer wieners and cherry Kool-Aid saying, "It's alright honey, Mommy's here."

    Who have sat in rocking chairs for hours on end soothing crying babies who can't be comforted.

    This is for all the mothers who show up at work with spit-up in their hair and milk stains on their blouses and diapers in their purse.

     For all the mothers who run carpools and make cookies and sew Halloween costumes. And all the mothers who DON'T.

    This is for the mothers who gave birth to babies they'll never see.  And the mothers who took those babies and gave them homes.  And for the mothers who lost their baby in that precious 9 months that they will never get to watch grow on earth but one day will be reunited with in Heaven!

    This is for the mothers whose priceless art collections are hanging on their refrigerator doors.

    And for all the mothers who froze their buns on metal bleachers at football or soccer games instead of watching from the warmth of their cars, so that when their kids asked, "Did you see me, Mom?" they could say, "Of course, I wouldn't have missed it for the world," and mean it.

    This is for all the mothers who yell at their kids in the grocery store and swat them in despair when they stomp their feet and scream for ice cream before dinner.  And for all the mothers who count to ten instead, but realize how child abuse happens.

    This is for all the mothers who sat down with their children and explained all about making babies.  And for all the (grand) mothers who wanted to, but just couldn't find the words.

    This is for all the mothers who go hungry, so their children can eat.  For all the mothers who read "Goodnight, Moon" twice a night for a year.  And then read it again.  "Just one more time."

    This is for all the mothers who taught their children to tie their shoelaces before they started school.  And for all the mothers who opted for Velcro instead.

    This is for all the mothers who teach their sons to cook and their daughters to sink a jump shot.

    This is for every mother whose head turns automatically when a little voice calls "Mom?" in a crowd, even though they know their own offspring are at home -- or even away at college.

    This is for all the mothers who sent their kids to school with stomach aches a ssuring them they'd be just FINE once they got there, only to get calls from the school nurse an hour later asking them to please pick them up.  Right away.

    This is for mothers whose children have gone astray, who can't find the words to reach them.

    This is for all the step-mothers who raised another woman's child or children, and gave their time, attention, and love... sometimes totally unappreciated!

    For all the mothers who bite their lips until they bleed when their 14-year-olds dye their hair green.

    For all the mothers of the victims of recent school shootings, and the mothers of those who did the shooting.

    For the mothers of the survivors, and the mothers who sat in front of their TVs in horror, hugging their child who just came home from school, safely.

    This is for all the mothers who taught their children to be peaceful, and now pray they come home safely from a war.

    What makes a good Mother anyway?  Is it patience?  Compassion?  Broad hips?  The ability to nurse a baby, cook dinner, and sew a button on a shirt, all at the same time?  Or is it in her heart?  Is it the ache you feel when you watch your son or daughter disappear down the street, walking to school alone for the very first time?  The jolt that takes you from sleep to dread, from bed to crib at 2 A.M. to put your hand on the back of a sleeping baby?  The panic, years later, that comes again at 2 A.M. when you just want to hear their key in the door and know they are safe again in your home?  Or the need to flee from wherever you are and hug your child when you hear news of a fire, a car accident, a child dying?

    The emotions of motherhood are universal and so our thoughts are for young mothers stumbling through diaper changes and sleep deprivation... 

    And mature mothers learning to let go.
    For working mothers and stay-at-home mothers.
    Single mothers and married mothers.
    Mothers with money, mothers without.
    This is for you all.
    For all of us.

    Hang in there.

    In the end we can only do the best we can.

    Tell them every day that we love them.  And pray.

    "Home is what catches you when you fall - and we all fall."

    Author unknown - received in an email

     

    0:49 | 添加评论 | 固定链接 | 写入日志
    5月8日

    Domestic Violence and Abuse

                                      Domestic Violence and Abuse

    Most People think of Domestic Violence and Abuse as being the same thing.  In a way, they are.  Domestic Violence is indeed abuse, but not all abuse is physically violent.  Abuse can be verbal or even non verbal in that it debases a person or makes them ashamed when they are not to blame.  It can be the taking or using of someone’s goods without permission or making one feel frightened with or without verbalization.

     

    People often think this occurs between domestic partners or married couples only.  It can also be meted out to parents, children and acquaintances.

     

    What it boils down to is that someone is being mean or ugly to someone else.

     

    There are those who would say that spanking a child is abusive.  I don’t agree unless the spanking is unwarranted or extreme as in an actual whipping or using something that can cause more than just a stinging fanny.

     

    If a spouse or partner calls you names or makes you feel as though you are worthless, useless, inept, inadequate or otherwise less than them, I consider that abuse.  If they coerce you into doing things you do not want to do, and you protest but they do not stop, that is abuse.

     

    When a parent’s children perpetrate any crime against them, be it physical, emotional, financial or psychological, that is abuse.  This type of thing usually occurs against the elderly.  They feel powerless against an adult child, especially if that child is responsible for their parent’s care.  They may very well put up with it in an attempt to keep their child’s love, regardless of the cost to themselves.

     

    Children are of course, the most vulnerable persons to any type of abuse.  Be it at the hands of siblings, parents or other adults they come into contact with.  They seem to be the ones most likely to be sexually abused and exploited.  Perhaps this is so because they are taught to respect adults and not question anyone who is put in charge of their care.  This is not new.  It has been happening through the ages.  But people are more open to discussing it with their children and among themselves today than ever before.  By talking about it, everyone becomes aware.

    9:33 | 添加评论 | 固定链接 | 写入日志
    5月4日

    Good morning, world!

    It's early, and the birdsong is so loud outside, it's as  if they are trying to chase away the fog with their shrill voices!  I have had a cold lately, and been low on energy.  I spent most of it planting posies the last couple of days.  There are only a few left witout pots of their own, and I will try to find them homes today.  It is such a joy when the flowers start blooming, and we get more sunshine.

    The Hummingbirds are eating us out of house and home this year.  I can hardly keep up with their appetites, and I have two enormous feeders.  The one little feeder does not get as much activity, but the others get drained within 2 days!  There are often five or six of the beautiful little creatures in a holding pattern, waiting for their turn to drink.  It sounds like a war zone outside.  I guess I need to add another feeder, and start buying sugar in fifty pound bags!

    I have not been working on my second book lately.  I am formulating different scenarios in my mind, and need to redo my outline before I begin again. I think a total rewrite is in order.  Poor Joan, what shall I do with her?  Her mother and grandmother shall be the focus of book #2.  Life in the early part of the 20th century was so very hard on women, and they did not have many choices on how to survive.  Life can still be difficult , even with more choices.  Today, there are additional dangers and pitfalls to go along with the additional opportunites!  I am often grateful that I am older and do not have the problems of youth.

    6:07 | 添加评论 | 阅读评论 (1) | 固定链接 | 写入日志
    4月29日

    innocence

    Children are such a fragile and precious gift.  They are so easily wounded.  Unkind words and unkind acts can leave scars that last a lifetime.  If we treat  them the way we wish to be treated, they can grow into people one is proud to know.  They learn to be considerate by us being considerate to them, and by explaining why we should be respectful of others.  They need to learn that their words can wound others deeply and have lasting consequences. 

    For every act or deed there are consequences.  Sometimes the consequences can be a pleasant surprise, and other times, they can be downright painful.  And why would one wish to inflict pain on themselves?  It can happen when one lashes out in anger, and when they presume to know what another's motives are when they are hurt. 

    It seems that the "me" generation has forgotten to look around at the people they come into contact with.  They are to be pitied.    They do not understand that the ripples they send out today will bounce back on them sometime in the future.  Our youngones need desperatley to learn some of these lessons. 

    Hopefully, they will not have to learn it by being injured, either physically or emotionally.  Often, wounded children curl up inside and never reach their full potential.  This is truly a shame.

    22:13 | 添加评论 | 固定链接 | 写入日志
    4月28日

    politics

    This is from an email that has been circulating for a while now, but the moral is timeless!
     
    The ant and the grasshopper.......new version

    OLD VERSION: The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.

    The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed.

    The grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.

    MORAL OF THE STORY: Be responsible for yourself!

    ************************************************************
    MODERN VERSION:

    The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.

    The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.

    Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others are cold and starving.

    CBS, NBC, PBS, CNN, and ABC show up to provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food.     America is stunned by the sharp contrast.

    How can this be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?

    Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper, and everybody cries when they sing, "It's Not Easy Being Green."

    Jesse Jackson stages a demonstration in front of the ant's house where the news stations film the group singing, "We shall overcome." Jesse then has the group kneel down to pray to God for the grasshopper's sake.

    Nancy Pelosi & John Kerry exclaim in an interview with Larry King that the ant has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and both call for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his fair share.

    Finally, the EEOC drafts the Economic Equity and Anti-Grasshopper Act retroactive to the beginning of the summer. The ant is fin ed for failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the government.

    Hillary gets her old law firm to represent the grasshopper in a defamation suit against the ant, and the case is tried before a panel of federal judges that Bill Clinton appointed from a list of single-parent welfare recipients.

    The ant loses the case.

    The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing up the last bits of the ant's food while the government house he is in, which just happens to be the ant's old house, crumbles around him because he doesn't maintain it.

    The ant has disappeared in the snow. The grasshopper is found dead in a drug related incident and the house, now abandoned, is taken over by a gang of spiders who terrorize the once peaceful neighborhood.

    MORAL OF THE STORY: Be careful how you vote. !!!  (But be sure to vote)
     
    12:13 | 添加评论 | 固定链接 | 写入日志
    4月26日

    OIL PRICES !!

    The price of gas in this country is appalling!!  In Washington it is over $3.00 a gallon, and is steadily climbing.  The same thing went on last year, and people all over the place were screaming.  They say it is linked to oil prices, and a lack of refineries.  I say bah!!  The oil companies boasted record profits last year, and guess what?  They plan to break all the records this year.  They made those profits by charging way more than they needed to for gas.
     
    As long as people consume gas at these prices, the oil companies will continue to raise the price.  These awful prices for a necessary commodity will continue to rise until the consumer says 'ENOUGH !!  I WILL CUT BACK OR CEASE TO USE IT!!"
     
    More people are turning to bicycles and mass transit.  But it is not enough.  If everyone in the country stayed home over the weekends for one month, the price would drop.  In fact, I would venture to bet that staying home for just one weekend would make an impact!
     
    Wake up , America!!  It's the law of supply and demand.  As long as we use their supply, they will demand higher prices.
    8:36 | 添加评论 | 固定链接 | 写入日志
    4月23日

    Life is what you make it!

    In a time when parents are saying things like, "don't fail my child, they don't deserve to  be embarrassed", maybe they should be urging the child to do better by practicing, or finding something else to pley or do.  I have heard that if a child's ball team is not playing well, they should simply pull the team.  Why not allow them to play and learn to lose with grace? There is no shame in playing badly, only in not trying to do their best. 

    This applies to  anything in life.  Try to excell and keep on trying, or find something you are good at, and perfect it.  We all have special talents and gifts; it is just a matter of finding what it is that makes us special. 

    It is also necessary to remember that not everyone can be a star, but every star has had a lot of help along the way.  It is when we stoop to uplift another person that we ourselves are up lifted.  To be able to give unconditionally and expect nothing in return is when we receive the most gratification and benefit.  I always feel good when I know I have done something to help another.  It need not be financial.  Maybe just a kind word at a time when they need it.

    More children need to understand that all actions have consequences, and that the parent will not "bail them out".  They also need to be taught respect and courtesy for others.  Manners are often a neglected subject.

    It is truly sad to see so many rude children running around.  But it is a joy when one encounters a youth who is kind and considerate.  And it costs them nothing.

    22:29 | 添加评论 | 阅读评论 (2) | 固定链接 | 写入日志
    4月22日

    Virginia Tech Victims

     

    The media will glorify the shooter for a long time to come , but who will honor the dead?  These are the victims, and these are the people who should be remembered...

    A complete list of the victims killed in the shootings at Virginia Tech:

    Killed:
    - Ross Abdallah Alameddine, 20, of Saugus, Mass., according to
    his mother, Lynnette Alameddine.

    - Christopher James Bishop, 35, according to Darmstadt
    University of Technology in Germany, where he helped run an
    exchange program.

    - Brian Bluhm, 25, a civil engineering graduate student,
    according to an announcement by the Detroit Tigers and friends.

    - Ryan Clark, 22, of Martinez, Ga., biology and English major,
    according to Columbia County Coroner Vernon Collins.

    - Austin Cloyd, an international studies major from Blacksburg,
    Va., according to Terry Harter, senior pastor at First United
    Methodist Church in Champaign, Ill., where Cloyd and her family
    lived before moving to Blacksburg.

    - Jocelyne Couture-Nowak, a French instructor, according to her
    husband, Jerzy Nowak, the head of the horticulture department at
    Virginia Tech.

    - Daniel Perez Cueva, 21, killed in his French class, according
    to his mother, Betty Cueva, of Peru.

    - Kevin Granata, age unknown, engineering science and mechanics
    professor, according to Ishwar K. Puri, the head of the engineering
    science and mechanics department.

    - Matthew G. Gwaltney, 24, of Chester, Va., a graduate student
    in civil and environmental engineering, according to his father and
    stepmother, Greg and Linda Gwaltney.

    - Caitlin Hammaren, 19, of Westtown, N.Y., a sophomore majoring
    in international studies and French, according to Minisink Valley,
    N.Y., school officials who spoke with Hammaren`s family.

    - Jeremy Herbstritt, 27, of Bellefonte, Pa., according to Penn
    State University, his alma mater and his father`s employer.

    - Rachael Hill, 18, of Glen Allen, Va., according to her father,
    Guy Hill.

    - Emily Jane Hilscher, a 19-year-old freshman from Woodville,
    according to Rappahannock County Administrator John W. McCarthy, a family friend.

    - Jarrett L. Lane, 22, of Narrows, Va., according to Riffe`s
    Funeral Service Inc. in Narrows, Va.

    - Matthew J. La Porte, 20, a sophomore from Dumont, N.J.,
    according to Dumont Police Chief Brian Venezio.

    - Henry J. Lee, also known as Henh Ly, 20, a first-year student
    majoring in computer engineering from Roanoke, Va., according to
    Oakey`s Funeral Service in Roanoke.

    - Liviu Librescu, 76, engineering science and mathematics
    lecturer, according to Puri.

    - G.V. Loganathan, 51, civil and environmental engineering
    professor, according to his brother G.V. Palanivel.

    - Partahi Lombantoruan, 34, of Indonesia, civil engineering
    doctoral student, according to Kristiarto Legowo, a spokesman for
    the foreign ministry.

    - Lauren McCain, 20, of Hampton, Va., international studies
    major, according to a statement from the family.

    - Daniel O`Neil, 22, of Rhode Island, according to close friend
    Steve Craveiro and according to Eric Cardenas of Connecticut
    College, where O`Neil`s father, Bill, is director of major gifts.

    - Juan Ramon Ortiz, a 26-year-old graduate student in
    engineering from Bayamon, Puerto Rico, according to his wife,
    Liselle Vega Cortes.

    - Minal Panchal, 26, a first-year building-science student from
    Mumbai, India, according to foregin ministry spokesman Navtej
    Sarna.

    - Erin Peterson, 18, of Chantilly, Va., an international studies
    major, according to her father, Grafton Peterson, in a story in the
    Washington City Paper.

    - Michael Pohle, 23, of Flemington, N.J., according to officials
    at his high school, Hunterdon Central High.

    - Julia Pryde, age unknown, a graduate student from Middletown,
    N.J., according to Virginia Tech professor Saied Mostaghimi,
    chairman of the biological systems and engineering department.

    - Mary Karen Read, 19, of Annandale, Va. according to her aunt,
    Karen Kuppinger, of Rochester, N.Y.

    - Reema J. Samaha, 18, a freshman from Centreville, Va.,
    according to her family.

    - Waleed Mohammed Shaalan, of Zagazig, Egypt, a doctoral student in civil engineering, according to the university.

    - Leslie Sherman, a sophomore history and international studies
    student from Springfield, Va., according to her grandmother Gerry
    Adams.

    - Maxine Turner, 22, a senior majoring in chemical engineering
    from Vienna, Va., according to her father, Paul Turner.

    - Nicole White, 20, a junior majoring in international studies
    from Smithfield, Va., according to a family statement released by
    the Suffolk, Va., Police Department

    FOX News

    Professor Liviu Librescu, a holocaust survivor, is a true hero for trying to save his students from the shooter by standing in the doorway.  It cost him his life.

    Kevin Stearns was also another hero, he wasn't killed thank God.

    These are the names we should be remembering, the ones who should be in the media spotlight, not the shooter!

    2:41 | 添加评论 | 阅读评论 (1) | 固定链接 | 写入日志

    Romance

    Romance can be found in quite a few places
    To find it you need to look in their faces
     
    The tilt of their head
    Is easily read
     
    The look in their eyes
    Seldom tells lies
     
    When you sense their desire
    Your smile banks the fire
     
    If it is just lust
    You'll be lost in the dust
     
    So beware the illusion
    That you're in seclusion
     
    Others may know from previous tries
    That this person just carries on through with lies
     
    They're out for the conquest
    And they'll do their best
     
    To win over your heart
    Then they'll tear it apart
     
    They'll leave you in tears
    You'll remember for years
     
    But in the long run
    Let's hope you had fun
     
    Save the lesson you learned
    For when the tables are turned
     
    And enjoy every tryst
    to add to your list
     
    So when the RIGHT one arrives
    It will enrich your lives
     
     
     
     
    0:18 | 添加评论 | 固定链接 | 写入日志
    4月19日

    Healing abuse

    To my way of thinking, adults must distance themselves from their abusers in order to begin the healing process.  They should also avoid jumping into additonal relationships at this time, as they may be jumping from the pan to the fire and are probably quite vulnerable.  It takes time to recover one's sense of self and gain back whatever self confidence they may have lost.  In my own case, it took a long time; and thankfully, I had friends to help lead me through the process.  Friends who nurtured and encouraged me to keep on taking the steps needed for healing.  Part of that healing came through talking to others who had been where I had been.  It was also necessary for me to understand where I had come from, what had put me in that position, and what part I had played in the situation.
     
    For the childhood abuses, I had to learn to forgive.  Not to condone, but to understand how sick other people sometimes were.  And through it all, to realize that my soul was still my own, and that no one could take that part of me unless I gave it to them.  There is also the need to educate our children so they can defend themselves against an abuser, and so they can feel safe coming to us when they need to.
     
    In retrospect, it was also necessary for me to realize that I too had been abusive in one form or another.  Usually verbally.  But the verbal bruises can last far longer that the physical ones.  As an adult, I learned to use verbal assault as a defense against physical threats.  Hopefully, that is no longer what I resort to.  Instead, I try to understand where the other person is coming from, and use intellect to deflect what ever psychological harm soemone may wish to inflict on my person.  I have also learned that sometimes it is necessary to fight the physical assault in kind, and that it is okay to do that in order to defend oneself.
    13:53 | 添加评论 | 阅读评论 (2) | 固定链接 | 写入日志
    4月16日

    freedom

    My my my
    How time does fly
    When chores are done
    and we're having fun
     
    Past memories fade
    as through our dreams we wade
    nightmares wake us
    eroticism will shake us
     
    at night it seems
    our dark nature in dreams
    comes out all at once
    and on waking it haunts
     
    grieving the past
    you must let go at last
    to forgive may be divine
    perhaps for others that's fine
     
    but hatred runs deep
    in the secrets you keep
    you fight with a will
    the urges to kill
     
    for our sins we will pay
    or so they all say
    but who knows for sure
    if our motives were pure
     
    so we play with our toys
    like good girls and boys
    until we're called home
    to drown in the foam
     
    our foam can be pain
    from other's disdain
    or it can bring pleasure
    like a vast treasure
     
    bringing us release from our past
    and giving us freedom so vast
    freedom to live
    and freedom to give
     
     
    1:46 | 添加评论 | 固定链接 | 写入日志
    4月9日

    Easter

    Well, we had our Easter dinner of Pizza last night.  It was a lazy day--kick back, relax, enjoy some sunshine.
     
    Why do they say you cannot choose your family but you can choose your friends?  Most often, I have cousins who are closer than siblings, and some family I would never claim.  And then again, there are people I have chosen to be friends with who wind up being family!  To illustrate:  Saturday I attended a family reunion at the invitation of a friend.  She told me I was family.  What a wonderful feeling.  I did know many who were there, so I did not feel like an outsider.  As a result, I have been invited to a tribal naming ceremony by an elder who is receiving her Indian name.  I did of course hand out some flyers for my book, and think I may be able to claim my gas as a business expense.  I'm keeping track of my mileage at any rate.
     
    I plan to attend a networking meeting on the 20th that is for the Womens  Spirit Coalition in Olympia, and I am looking forward to it.  New faces, new experiences.  I hope this trend continues.  Socializartion has been lacking in my life this past year and a half, and it is sorely missed. 
    13:42 | 添加评论 | 固定链接 | 写入日志
    4月6日

    Busy, busy, busy!!!

    Now the real work begins, I guess--contacting media, checking on business cards, ordering bookmarks, and I need to set up some book signings.  I think I shall start in Shelton, where there are several small bookstores that cater to that sort of thing, and it will give me some experience before I branch out.  Barnes and Noble stores are supposed to be very author friendly, too, so they will be next. 
     
    I am trying to keep track of expenses and activities.  Even bought an organizer--day planner to help me keep track.  Good grief, ME?  Organized?  What a hoot!
     
    So far, response has been wonderful, I just hope it continues.  The book is a little over the top.  Explicit scenes, you understand.
    23:57 | 添加评论 | 固定链接 | 写入日志
    3月22日

    Still working on #2

    Well, book #1 went on paper pretty fast, but #2 is coming a little slower.    Women's issues can be so complex!!  But I am slogging along with it.  New ideas all the time.  In fact, I have dreams filled with the characters and their dilemmas.  Just wish I could remember them all when I am fully awake!
     
    I am hoping to let women all over know that their problems are not new, they are not alone, they are not usually to blame, and that there is always hope, regardless of how they choose to solve them.  Some solutions come with dire consequences, though, and they must use good sense and avail themselves of the avenues that have been hard won by those who went before. 
     
    Many women are still 2nd class citizens in society's eyes, but that is changing, slowing evolving through the efforts of many other women.  These books have romance, but are not intended to be purely romance novels.  Hopefully, readers will find a good story line and excitement in the pages they turn.
     
    Mother's Journals, parts 1, 2 and 3 is now available on Amazon.com and searchable by author name.
    20:16 | 添加评论 | 固定链接 | 写入日志 | Books
    3月14日

    If you want to order my book

    Should you wish to, the book can be preordered at: 

    http://www.publishamerica.com/shopping/index.htm

     

    put Zada Connaway in the search box, and it will take you right to it!

    It will be available through Amazon.com and Barnes and Noble, or it will be available to order through bookstores after May 7, 2007, which is the official release date.

    The book is not cheap, but it is over 300 pages long. Should the link not work properly, you can go to publishamerica.com and when you click on bookstore, search for Zada Connaway. It will take you right to the page.

    23:42 | 添加评论 | 固定链接 | 写入日志

    I finally did it!

    After many years of saying I would, I have written a novel.  I was most fortunate to find a publisher who liked my manuscript well enough to take a chance on me, and agreed to publish it.  Thank heaven's they are not a vanity publisher, which means that they are footing the bill for the process.  (Vanity publishers will publish pretty much whatever you want if you are willing to foot the bill--sometimes thousands of dollars.)
     
    I am hoping this book, Mother's Journals part 1, 2 and 3, will illustrate that women do not have to suffer abuse in any form, and that many do break free.  Having suffered abusive men in my life, I understand some of the mechanics behind the fear and self esteem problems one can suffer through an abusive relationship.  While it is not just women who suffer abuse,  since I am one, I have written this book from my own perspective.  

    While none of the people or events in this book are real, things of this sort have happened to women through the ages. They are still happening and I would hope that this humble attempt on my part will give hope to all women who have or are suffering the agony of an abusve relationship.  I would also hope that they are able to escape the horrific treatment they may have heaped upon them, and seek assistance.

    There are explicit acts written of in this novel, but only to convey the diffence between the good and the evil that can occur.  It is hoped that this writing will open some eyes to the suffering that many have endured, and to the good that also exists.

    23:29 | 添加评论 | 固定链接 | 写入日志