Astronomy is not exactly my main interest, but here is a site that has great content for anyone interested in the stars, planets and light.

http://blogs.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendId=66837154&blogId=212645210

Ahad’s Constant is a great theory worthy of investigation.  He has many pictures of stars, planets, and more!  Awesome!!

His paper has a mathematical formula which calculates the
amount of light received from anywhere in the universe.

His theory is written up in the Journal of British Astonomers.

http://www.britastro.org/journal/pdf/115-5letters.pdf

In the Pacific Northwest, vast sections of freeway are shut down or at a standstill.  Downtown Seattle is in the grips of snow and ice.  Ten inches of snow and more which turned to ice.  Metro drivers with articulated buses are jack knifed and stuck in the road; chains are not even working on the hills.  The plows and deicers are all out, but not making much headway.  The Seattle area is built on a series of hills which makes matters dangerous for anyone on the roads.  The Puget Sound region is pretty much iced in.  Tow trucks are in high demand, and the wait is a long one if you are in a collision.  And don’t call for a taxi—you will only get a recorded message that says there region is pretty much iced in. are none available.

            UPS and FEDEX drivers are delivering packages on foot!!  I guess they are determined to see that any Christmas presents are delivered in time for the event.

            The roads into Canada were pretty much shut down yesterday with the ice, and it just moved south.  I think we can assume that it will be a white Christmas for sure, with more snow tomorrow plus off and on snow and freezing weather into next week.

            One enterprising individual used skis to get to work!  Talk about dedicated employees.  At least the kids are all enjoying being out of school with no return scheduled any time soon.  It will continue through the night, and maybe for the next week.

            Good thing I went to the store last week, and we have lots of dry wood for the stove.  We also have plenty of chow for the animals.  But getting the hay out to the cows and defrosting their water is a royal pain in the you-know-what. 

            We have been taking good care of the birds; crumbled muffins and bread don’t last long and little skirmishes break out here and there as they jockey for the choicest morsels.  I have nailed fat and fat layered soup bones to the fence posts for the birds, and they really go to town on them.   There is also a feeder full of seed and cracked corn.  At least they won’t go hungry around here.  As long as my stocks in the freezers hold out, that is.

            It seems this weather is hitting the entire northern portion of the country in one form or another.  Many in the New England area have already been hit with it, and some places are still without power.  We haven’t lost our power yet.  YET.

            I hope everyone is snug and warm in front of their fires, and not stuck on the roads.

Elder Abuse

Elder abuse is becoming a much bigger problem than even child abuse in the statistics.  Part of this is due to increased reporting, and partly because more ‘boomers’ and beyond are moving in with their children and their families.

Why does this happen?  Sometimes it is simply an over burdening of a family that is already stretched thin financially and with small children in the home that also need care.  The middle generation (where there are 3 generations in the same home) is attempting to care for their children, work to meet their budget, and then trying to care for an elder parent who needs a lot of care as well.

Sometimes the motive is greed, and other times it is just anger.  The anger can stem from childhood, or with trying to be the parent with their parent in the home.

There are some excellent sites on the internet that have statistics, offer resources and give guidance.  http://www.karisable.com/elderabuse.htm  is one such site, with many links to assist anyone searching.  The following is from that website:

"Every year an estimated 2.1 million older Americans are victims of physical, psychological, or other forms of abuse and neglect. For every case of elder abuse and neglect reported to authorities, experts estimate that there may be as many as 5 cases not reported. Research suggests elders who have been abused tend to die earlier than those who are not abused, even in the absence of chronic conditions or life threatening disease." Elder Abuse and Neglect: In Search of Solutions

American's over the age of 50 years represent 30% of our population, 12% of our murder victims and 7% of other serious and violent crime victims.

90% of elder abuse and neglect incidents are by known perpetrators, usually family members, 2/3rds are adult children or spouses. 42% of murder victims over 60 were killed by their own offspring. Spouses were the perpetrators in 24% of family murders of persons over 60.

The eldest of our seniors, 80 years and older, are abused and neglected at 2 - 3 times the proportion of all other senior citizens. -- Bureau of Justice Statistics

In most states "mandatory reporters of elder abuse" are required by law to report suspected cases of elder maltreatment. Nearly 70 percent of Adult Protective Service agencies' annual caseloads involve elder abuse.

21.6% of all domestic elder abuse reports came from physicians or health care professionals 9.4% from service providers, 14.9% are family members. The types of abuses and their percentage of frequency are below.

National Center on Elder Abuse, 1994 The National Elder Abuse Incidence Study: Final Report Washington, DC: Administration for Children and Families & Administration on Aging, US Department of Health and Human Services

http://www.karisable.com/elderabuse.htm

http://www.karisable.com/elderabuseres.htm

The following was taken from: http://www.apa.org/pi/aging/eldabuse.html

Defined

“Elder abuse is the infliction of physical, emotional, or psychological harm on an older adult. Elder abuse also can take the form of financial exploitation or intentional or unintentional neglect of an older adult by the caregiver.”

Here is a link to their educational site:

http://www.apa.org/pi/aging/eldabuse.html

Help Guide .org is another resource filled with valuable information on many topics.

http://www.helpguide.org/index.htm

If you find the above information disturbing, please don’t turn a blind eye.  Educating ourselves on this issue is very important if those who are abused can be helped.  Reporting even suspected abuse is everyone’s duty.  Please visit the sites mentioned above, and spend at least a few minutes of your time reading through the material.  We may all be victims one day, and need the information offered.

Am I moving?   Not yet.

Eighteen years ago, I REALLY needed to escape the city life.  Planes overhead every two to three minutes, epecially at night.  People who drive erratically, ride your bumper and are both rude and unsafe.  Crowds and noise everywhere.  Argh!!  I wanted to mount a cattle catcher on the front of my car and a cannon in my front yard to start shooting planes out of the air!  I'd had all I could take.

House sold, and then we went to a quieter area and started a year long hunt for the perfect place.

We found ten acres of basically flat land at the end of a dead end road.  Hunter's paradise with trees and lots of wildlife. 

The well was in, and power was at the road.  We found an old mobile for almost no money and had it moved to the center of the land.  We put in the septic and made the mobile habitable.  Our little piece of heaven.

Then the remodel began.  Little upgrades, a foundation, a roof over the top and real walls, one by one.  So far, we have to finish the new kitchen and then start on the living room as well as the 2nd bedroom.

Evidently I have wanderlust, because I now need to move again.  From the Pacific Northwest to the South Eastern regions.  I want to be where I have more than a one month growing season for the garden.  Where the winters are not so long.  I long for warmer weather and a simpler life.  There are areas that don't make the news with hurricanes and tornadoes.  That is where I long to be.

Well, wish me luck.  I do intend to go!

(c)2008 Zada Connaway

          It is very good to be aware of where our children are and what they are doing; but what about adult women staying safe as well?  As adults, we are the only ones who can tell ourselves what we can do to stay safe.  Here are a couple of pointers:

          Don’t park in an area that will be dark and shielded from view, especially if you know it  will be after nightfall when you go to retrieve your car.  Use valet parking when it is available.

            Always be aware of your surroundings, and think ahead.  If you are working late in an office building, is there anyone there who can accompany you to your vehicle, or at least watch to make sure you arrive at your car safely?  Some buildings have security guards, and they can either walk you out or at least watch for you and your safe entry to your transportation. 

             Don’t set your self up to be a victim.  A woman walking alone and timidly, purse clutched to her chest, looking around and over her shoulder is asking to meet a purse snatcher, or someone even worse.  She is already frightened, and it shows, making her the perfect victim.    

             If it is necessary for you to walk outside at night, do so with purpose and confidence.  Anyone looking for a victim to prey upon is not looking for a fighter.  They want to attack the weak and frightened, knowing they will not put up much of a fight.  Walk tall and proud, with confidence, even if you must pretend.

            If there is a self defense class near you, by all means take advantage of it.  You have absolutely nothing to lose by doing so, and you can gain extra self confidence from it.  Self confidence is a good defense, and shows in the way you walk and carry yourself.

            Should you lock yourself away at night?  Absolutely not!  Enjoy your life socially whenever you like.  But be aware and avert danger when you can.  That way you can be safe and still enjoy life.

(c) 2008 Zada Connaway

It has been asked:  Why write about such a dark and painful subject in my blog?

I had to think long and hard to come up with an adequate answer.

It is my hope to open a dialogue for those who have their own abuse issues hidden away like dirty little secrets.  For myself, I was lucky enough to find others who had suffered what I endured.  As a sort of group therapy we discussed our feelings and were able to heal in this manner.  We discovered within our little group that we were not unique, nor were we alone.

I have heard it said we are only as sick as the secrets we keep. The sickness within us causes pain and gives a false sense of who we are.  It also gives our worlds different shades of right and wrong as well as leading us to make unwise decisions in our lives.

This is part of what I had hoped to illustrate in my novel, Mother’s Journals: parts 1, 2 and 3.  At seventeen, Margery leaves her family to go to unknown territory because of her own bad decisions, and must live with the consequences of her actions.  Then in desperation, she strikes out at her abuser and must live with those consequences.  Her secret has far reaching consequences which estrange her children and they become adults without family ties that go beyond their own little family units.

Every decision we make in life has consequences we must live with.  Some are good decisions with happy endings and others are not.  Quite often by keeping secrets we harm others around us.  Trying to shield loved ones from our truths can back fire. For those who have kept dirty little secrets, it is not too late to begin the healing process.  The process is not always painless, but it is worth it.

In order to live full, productive and joyful lives, it is necessary to abandon the false guilt and remorse we have for things that cannot be undone.  In this way the anger can also be banished from our lives.

Anger guilt and shame need not color the world we live in.  It is our choice to heal or stay sick inside. The consequences of exploring our feelings can be most beneficial to us and those around us.  I would hope that those who suffer would be able to heal and feel inner peace and joy.

I wish you all joy and happiness in abundance.

(c) 2008 Zada Connaway

            Let’s talk a little bit about rape. I believe that everyone knows rape is nonconsensual sex.  It is sexual assault, a violent act.  It is often stems from rage and anger.  It gives the rapist complete domination over the person that is the victim. 

            The victim is not always known by the rapist.  They are often simply in the proximity of one another when the event occurs and when opportunity presents itself.

            There is also the event now known as date rape.  Sometimes the victim is drugged, or taken advantage of while in a weakened state, such as after a drinking spree.  This usually happens when the victim is known to the rapist, at least somewhat, but is unwilling to allow intercourse. 

            When the victim, presumably a woman, says no and the other person refuses to  accept that for an answer, rape is quite often the outcome.  If the woman is lucid, and fights back, she may be beaten or threatened with a knife or other object.  The rapist may use a gun or verbal threats to subdue the woman in order to gain her cooperation.

            A woman alone at night in a parking lot or even on a deserted street is a prime target, especially at night.  Sometimes this situation is unavoidable, such as when leaving work at night, or coming from a class or activity after dark.  Always think ahead when parking your vehicle with the possibility that you will be leaving alone and after dark.

                Women must be vigilant in knowing where they are, who they are with and being aware of their surroundings.  It is also important that they make their friends and family aware of where they are going and with whom. 

            Meeting someone new, as on a blind date?  The best strategy would be to never meet someone you don’t know without having friends accompany you and meeting in a public place.  There truly is safety in numbers.  Once you have met the other person, don’t dismiss your companions too fast.  The person in front of you may not be as nice as they appear to be.  Remember Ted Bundy?  He appeared to be an  upstanding young man.

            If you have a cell phone, make sure you have it with you, fully charged and within easy reach at all times.

            Don’t allow your judgment to be impaired by drinking heavily.  People make very foolish choices when in a drunken state.  I shouldn’t have to say it, but do not do any form of drugs, and don’t pick up strangers in bars.

What do you do if you are raped?

              First, make as much noise as you can if attacked.  Scream “FIRE!” or “CALL 911!”, hit, kick,  or what ever you can safely do to attract attention.  Second, the incident MUST be reported immediately, even if you succeed in fighting an attacker off. The police need to be aware that this person is in the area, if only to save other women from the fight.

For more information or to get help, you can call the National Sexual Assault Hotline:  1-800-656-hope

            Do you know the difference between Domestic Violence and Abuse?  They are not always the same thing.  Domestic violence is of course abuse, but not all abuse is violent.  A parent withholding shelter, food or safety from their child is being abusive.  Name calling, bullying and general comments that are aimed at making a person feel bad about themselves are also forms of abuse, whether aimed at an adult or a child. This form of abuse can scar a person for a lifetime, forever damaging their perception of themselves.

           Taking unfair advantage of the weak or sickly is also abuse.  This would be especially true when an adult child bullies a parent into doing things for them that they should be able to do themselves.  They often place burdens on an elderly parent using the threat of withdrawing their physical assistance, or withholding their affection if the parent does not comply with their wishes.   This happens far too often, and I see it happening all the time. 

            When my stepfather implied I was stupid and ugly, it was verbal abuse. He said “you should learn to be a good cook and housekeeper so you can land a husband to take care of you.  It’s the main thing a man wants in a wife, and the only way you will ever find a husband.  You can practice that here at home.  Housework comes before school work.”  He implied that I was too stupid to be able to take care of myself.  Looking back, it seems his motive was to make me help my working mother more.  Being a young teenager, this only served to make my rebellious streak a little wider, and I started attracting men just to prove him wrong.

            Mother, on the other hand said, “You need to study hard so you can support yourself.  No man will ever be willing to put up with you.”  Mixed messages?  You bet!  I wound up feeling like the hole in the donut.

             Much of the definition of verbal abuse goes to intent, and it has taken me years to be able to identify when I am being verbally abused subtly.  Sometimes words can be changed to mean something other than what they imply simply by a change of tone and volume. Constructive criticism is not the same thing as abuse.  The person who tells you that you should be ashamed of committing a crime is not abusing you.  The person who tells you or implies that you are stupid is being verbally abusive.

              Most often debasing comments are made to make someone do something other than what they want to do.   Basically, verbal slurs are made just to make the other person feel bad about themselves; or the person making the comment wants someone to blame for their own shortcomings.  It is a means of manipulation, and the verbal abuser thinks they are now superior.

           Q.  What do you do when you are verbally assaulted?

            A.  Verbal abuse is often just the precursor to physical abuse, especially if the one being abused returns fire.  The first option would be to let the person who is abusing you know that you find it unacceptable. Secondly, seek counseling.  But be sure the counselor is well informed on the topic of verbal abuse. This is a topic you can research on the internet.

             Abused, but not yet bruised or battered? You can check out:  NCADV   (National Coalition Against Domestic Violence) for a list of agencies in your area that offer resources.

            When it comes to the crime of child molesting, children today are taught to be more aware of their surroundings, and the fact that they do have the right to say “NO!” than children of earlier generations. Most children know the difference between appropriate and inappropriate touching.  Of course this does not relieve parents and other adults, whether family members or not, of the responsibility to be observant of how children interact with adults and other children.

            Did I undergo personality or behavior changes after being molested?  Since I was only a child at the time, I am not sure.  But changes in a child can simply be the natural maturing process of their psyche.  They become more perceptive, and are learning a certain amount of independence. These are usually changes that occur slowly over a period of time but sharp and sudden changes in a child’s behaviors or habits should be flags of warning to a parent or other responsible adult who is close to the child.

            Quite often, children who are inappropriate with other children are victims of abuse and this also needs to be watched if not reported.  Much depends on the severity and frequency of such actions. The abused may become abusers if help is not sought.  In fact, this is probably the rule rather than the exception.  The observer must also be aware that children are naturally curious, and playing “Dr.” can be just that. Natural curiosity can be a good thing, if applied properly.  Most parents welcome their children’s questions, and are able to stimulate healthy areas of discovery.    

            When an adult feels compelled to report what they see as aberrant behavior between children, they should be prepared with complete documentation of actions, including who what when and where.  Other witnesses should be listed with contact information if such is available.  Also, should it appear to be small but repetitious acts, the more documentation one has may make the difference in whether or not the person or persons making the report are taken seriously. Of course, in the case of obvious injury or action, there should be no delay in making a report. 

            It should be noted that making an official complaint against an adult that is not substantiated can result in the wrongful ruination of someone’s reputation, and forever alter their life.  I would suggest caution and thorough investigation before filing an official report unless the injury is obvious.

             If we witness a crime and do not report it, we are part of  the problem.  It is far better to be part of the solution.